Burning-out freelancer at "old" age. Questioning one's career

Question

I've been a full stack web developer since the late '90s, nearing my half-century mark now. Throughout my career, I've accumulated a wealth of experience in various fields. However, alongside my professional life, I have a family with school-going children, which adds another layer of complexity and responsibility to my daily routine.

Lately, I find myself increasingly tired and exhausted. Gone are the days when I could marathon through coding sessions without feeling the toll on my body and mind. The pandemic period and its aftermath have only added to the stress, exacerbating feelings of burnout and fatigue. It's become a common scenario for me to chase clients for payments, often feeling like I'm begging to get paid for the work I've done. This isn't just disheartening but also draining, especially for small invoices.

I've experienced two severe burnouts in last years and developed a significant skin condition (healed after 4 months of medical treatment), which was eventually diagnosed as stress-related after consulting three different specialists, since they did not find any physiological reason. These health and stress issues during last years have left me with little to no social energy.

During my career, I have always struggled against my solitary nature, forcing myself to attend business meetings, conventions, and similar events.

I've always been somewhat of a solitary person, preferring quiet over crowds, and while I cherish the time spent with friends, family, and sometimes colleagues, I despise networking events, parties, and dinners that are purely for business relationships. The limited free time I have, I want to spend with my family or simply resting, reading a book, walk in the nature... I just can't work all the time available and all the rest of the time think and act around work issues, weekends included.

Delegating work has never been my thing. I often find that explaining tasks to others takes more time than doing them myself, and the need to correct others' work just adds to my workload.

Meeting new clients and attending company meetings feels like climbing a mountain; it's an effort that leaves me depleted.

In recent years, I've often fantasized about closing my business and starting something completely different, something with minimal public interaction that could still provide a decent livelihood. But every time I think about it, I can't seem to find a way out. I question whether this line of work is sustainable until retirement, which is still many years away.

I feel like I'm drifting, relying on long-standing clients, but I've noticed that younger clients tend to prefer working with freelancers their own age or younger.

Working as an employee at an agency isn't an appealing option either. From my interactions with such environments, I've only seen exploitation, cynicism and more stress.

I've also tried finding full remote work, but didn't find anything in that sense.

I feel a bit lost and would greatly appreciate any insights or advice from those who've faced similar challenges. How do you cope with the exhaustion and stress of freelancing? Have any of you successfully transitioned to a different career path that offers a more balanced lifestyle?

Answer 1

Trying to do it all is impossible. There are multiple paths from this point. All require giving up some control and trusting other people to do stuff that you have been doing yourself.

A business requires multiple people with multiple skills. There is the top person who has to balance things. Salespeople are critical and must be part of the team. The business needs those who do the actual value creation. And some administration people are needed. You have been trying to do all of these and don't have all those skills.

One path is to move to a "subcontractor" role where someone else does the sales and marketing and collections and simply gives you work.

Another path is to grow where you partner with a salesperson and give a lot of work to subcontractors and employees.

But basically, you sound like you are at a point where rethinking the business is needed.

Answer 2

I completely understand your situation, as I'm experiencing similar challenges...

Here are a few strategies that sometimes in certain periods have helped me:

Set Boundaries: Establish clear work hours and stick to them to ensure you have time to relax and recharge.

Delegate When Possible: Start small with delegating tasks to reduce your workload gradually.

Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that help you unwind, such as exercise, mindfulness, or hobbies.

Explore New Opportunities: Consider part-time work or learning new skills to transition to a different career path.

Seek Support: A therapist or counselor can offer strategies for managing stress and burnout.

Connect with Peers: Join online forums or local groups to share experiences and advice with others facing similar challenges.

Reevaluate Client Relationships: Focus on clients who respect your work, and consider letting go of troublesome ones.