I'm having trouble balancing freelancing work with family. My wife thinks that just because I work at home that this means I'm available for home stuff at any hour, which creates problems in my relationship.
How can I make her understand (perhaps through some article or something) that freelancers must follow work schedules just like anybody else?
It sounds like your wife may be a bit bored. She obviously wants to spend some time with you, but you also need to be able to focus on your work so that you get paid.
One possible solution, one that may possibly get her excited, is to give her something important to do. While she may not be a web designer or a programmer or have the skills to do whatever it is that you do for a living, there's generally a lot of administrative type work that goes along with freelancing, such as taxes, putting together invoices, tracking expenses, etc. So you can possibly save yourself some time that you would otherwise spend on these activities by delegating them to her.
The advantage of this solution is that you get to spend time together while you work, make her feel like she's an important part of the process, and get done with your work even earlier so that you can then spend more quality time together. Everybody wins. Of course, you still need be clear that you need to be able to focus if you're working on a challenging problem.
Articles?
Just talk to her.
You need to set some base rules - things like working hours, when you can and cannot be interrupted and for what reasons you can.
It is simple enough - if you are unable to complete your work, you will not get paid. And without money... well...
I am sure she will understand this.
If your contracts have them, the payment milestones / deadline / penalty sections can be quite effective in explaining how interruptions mean missing milestones / deadlines and can cause a penalty .
The same problem here. However it is not a problem any more due to a mutual understanding and my better planning. Let me explain it to you.
The hardest part is to "make them understand" that it is a job and you have to work it regardless of the fact that you are sitting in your living room. And if you don't earn money or the job gets cancelled, will they say OK or will they blame you :).
The solution which works best for me is an everyday solution: compromise.
All these have made my life easier. As I said, I worked a lot and did not have time to enjoy the money I made. After 6 months, I started being sick of freelancing. Now I tell myself that I work 4 hours a day, and I stick to it. Sometimes, but really sometimes, I work more and that is really rare.
In the end, I earn almost the same as when I worked all the time, I enjoy the money I earn and I am not neglecting my marriage.
If you have a separate workspace with a door, signal with the door.
No door? Some people have successfully used a distinctive hat to mean "don't interrupt me just now".
But yeah, it starts with an understanding and agreement that this is my job; when I'm at work, I have to work like anyone else (only I have a way better boss!), but since I'm home and I'm really glad you're in my life, I'll try not to be (too) hard about it when I can, and still get my work done.
Agree with Oded that talking should come first. Communication.
A little story of my own FWIW. My dad kept dropping in during work hours, despite my reminding him several times that I really needed to focus on work during the day and couldn't spend a lot of time chatting.
He finally got the point after I sent him an invoice. He shows up looking for a coffee after work now, so things are shiny. (Mind you, he never paid the bill... must send him an overdue notice. (joke))
Explain her how do you work. Show her deadlines, work plans, and so on.
Good understanding of your workflow for your relatives will help to overcome such issues.
Update:
Many problems in relationships have roots in misunderstanding. Your relatives have different picture in their's mind about your work. And due to this fact they make incorrect assumptions about you and your intentions and attitude towards your relatives.
Show them what is going on in your everyday work. How do you get new customers and plan your work, how do you meet the deadlines and how do you drive your business.
And how much time does it take.
As mentioned in other answers, she needs to understand that the work you are doing is important and directly correlates with money you bring in.
Another good thing to do is sometimes work out of home if you can at a local cafe etc - sometimes the change of scenery really helps.
With any type of relationship (husband/wife, client/consultant, friend/friend, etc.), communication is one of the most important aspects of your relations pip --
First of all, look at it through her eyes: assuming you're in a happy loving happy relationship, she sees that you're at home now instead of an office, you probably wants to spend more time with you. And if she's asking you to do more chores around the house, again, she sees that you're home everyday and she has to go to an office for 40 hours a week to her job. How unfair is that for her?
Secondly, don't send her articles. She's not your blog reader, she's your wife. talk to her. Make her a cup of tea and sit her down, not in a serious, you're-in-trouble kind of way, but just level with her. For the sake of your relationship and happiness, happily pick up a couple of extra chores, not a whole laundry-list (no pun intended) of stuff you have to do instead of your work. Even an hour everyday (what you probably saved from not having a commute anymore), will get a great deal done.
Sit her down tell her that if just because the physical location of where you work is different doesn't mean that the situation is any different.
Having said that, one of the main reasons that you're freelancing is that you'll be able to spend more time with your family. Because at the end of the day, why are you doing all this anyway? To live life! For this reason, embrace the distractions at a certain point and make sure you communicate with your wife.
My solution was to inform her about the schedule.
Not only does this allow her to plan her own stuff, it also creates a clear boundary when I need to work or have a skype meeting or whatever.
It also removes any doubt about whether you really need to be working at that specific time.
Agree communication is key but if would add this. Your wife needs to understand that this is not a hobby; this is how you put food on the table and a roof over your mutual heads. The issue sounds like one of lack of understanding. Being at home does not mean being available. I agree with others that setting expectations is important. I also agree that bit helps to have a separate controlled space. But a key part is that you and she's need to agree that there are work hours and non-work hours and that she needs to treat your work hours the same way she would if you worked in an office. If she wouldn't expect to be able to call you whenever if you were in an office then she should not expect it in this instance. You don't have to be mean when you share this but you do need to share it. Good luck....
